Have you “girled” someone at work or in sports? This is when someone intentionally or unintentionally belittles, demeans or excludes someone using sexist language.
Calling a woman “girl” or a man a “big girl’s blouse” may diminish their authority and imply they are less capable for the job than others.
Am I being “hysterical” about this? Am I getting my “knickers in a twist”, or are the “boys” worried they’ll turn female colleagues into “ball busters” if they treat women equally at work? Should I stop “worrying my pretty little head about these things”, or can I simply not take a joke?
In the modern workplace, you’d think that no sensible person would use such sexist terms. Sadly, it is still happening. A few years ago, then-British Prime Minister Boris Johnson called Jeremy Corbyn a “big girl’s blouse” as the pair clashed at Prime Minister’s questions.
European parliaments are no different. Gender-based sexism, harassment and violence against women representatives and parliamentary staff is widespread. This is according to a study by the Inter-Parliamentary Union and the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe in 2018.
Commenting on the research for Maynooth University in an article entitled Dealing with everyday sexism in Leinster House, social scientist Claire McGing-Delaney wrote: “Like all workplaces, particularly those where gender power arrangements are asymmetrical in favour of men and cultural masculinity, the Irish parliament is not immune to this sort of behaviour.”
In the Dáil, male politicians have been heard saying things about their female colleagues such as “try to rein her in now and again”, “Miss Piggy” and “speaking out of her fanny”.
“This is just a sample of the sexist language used to describe Irish women representatives in the course of their parliamentary duties. It is difficult to imagine male TDs or Senators being at the receiving end of such comments,” wrote McGing-Delaney.
More recently, in 2024, a Web Summit survey of 1,000 women working in the technology sector found that half reported experiencing sexism in the workplace over the previous year. When it came to identifying the most pressing challenges facing women in tech, 63.8 per cent of those surveyed cited unconscious gender bias.
Language is one of many ways that women are treated as “less than” in the workplace. Comments in the survey show how sexism persists.
“I am often spoken over, spoken for, or my opinions are put down in meetings,” said one respondent. “Being a woman in a predominantly male environment means having to prove your abilities twice as much, facing additional challenges to be recognised and valued,ˮ said another. “What I say is ignored even though what I’m saying is urgent, relevant and important,” said a third. “They would rather use a male consulting company that is not an expert than listen to me, an actual expert.”
Power dynamics
There is no doubt that negotiating the use of language at work can be confusing. Standards change, and it can be hard to keep up. How do we know when to use, or not use, words and phrases at work that seem okay with close friends and family?
Deborah Cameron, a British linguist and retired Oxford University professor in language and communication, says the differentiator is “the distinction between status and solidarity”.
In sports, you will sometimes hear uneven commentary where adult women are called girls, but the men playing the same game are called, well, men
This means the same word or phrase communicates a different meaning “depending on whether it’s being used ‘vertically’, to mark the speaker’s relative position in a status hierarchy, or ‘horizontally’, as a mark of solidarity, intimacy or mutual respect between equals”.
So, you can call me girl if you’re my husband, as in, say, “that’s my girl”, or part of my female friend group using “Girls Night Out” or “Guuurrrl, you’re telling me!”. Whereas if a fellow board member or client called me “girl” or asked “the girls” to go make the tea or take notes, I’d rightly be annoyed.
Cameron says the first usage is solidarity and says “we love each other”; the second is status and says “I have power over you”.
If I started calling my male colleagues “boy”, I’d certainly get some funny looks.
One simple test can show you whether or not something is sexist: would the language be the same if applied to a man and not a woman?
In sports, you will sometimes hear uneven commentary where adult women are called girls, but the men playing the same game are called, well, men. To avoid confusion, be consistent: women and men, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, lads and lassies.
If, for example, you’re looking for additional players for a mixed-sex adult team, don’t ask if there are any girls who might be interested. Because you’d certainly be surprised if you found a bunch of 10- and 11-year-old girls showing up for adult tennis, running or sailing competitions.
Culture and wellbeing
Language matters at work. The words and phrases we use, both verbal and written, have an impact on how our colleagues and clients feel and how they perceive us.
Leaders of a certain age might not be used to working with women or seeing them as authoritative
Sexist language and exclusion feel like death by a thousand cuts. It sends a strong message to women that they don’t belong, won’t be listened to and are not appreciated. You may as well put up a sign outside your all-boys club that says “No Girls Allowed”.
I was once on a board of directors where the chairman would not allow me to speak. When he asked for comments on the issue at hand, I raised my hand politely. I was ignored, so I waved my hand wildly. Nothing.
Next time, I just stood up and started speaking. Without looking up, he said we had to move on to the next item. At the next few meetings, I wore more colourful clothes and boots and made jokes about trying not to be invisible. He continued to ignore me even when other male colleagues pointed out that I was trying to speak.
The message was very clear: I was not wanted and had no value.
Needless to say, I persisted. After numerous side conversations with the board secretary and colleagues, both male and female, they made sure I had my turn to speak. That didn’t mean the chairman treated me any better, but it did mean my voice was on the record and I was now doing the job I was being paid to do.
Nobody should have extra barriers put in their way at work. It’s time-wasting, exhausting for the team and very damaging to company culture.
Management strategist Peter Drucker is famous for saying, “culture eats strategy for breakfast”. Culture is created by the worst behaviours you tolerate and the best ones you promote. Companies with a strong culture of respect and personal accountability perform much better than those without it.
Leaders of a certain age might not be used to working with women or seeing them as authoritative. Maybe they went to an all-boys’ school from age five to 18, and it’s normal for them to use sexist terms and tell sexist jokes. But it’s time for them to grow up, realise their legal and moral obligations to the company and their colleagues and start actively including women in important conversations.
This article was originally published in The Irish Times on 4th September 2025 and can be accessed here.